Since the day I gave birth to our 3rd bundle of joy which took place 4 months ago, I haven’t been doing intensive therapy session with Ihsan at home. Although I tried but it’s quite difficult because I need time to adapt with the new routine. After a month welcoming Widad, I also straightly started with my online business (I will blog about this in another entry) which consequently already occupied part of 24 hours precious time I have everyday. That also means there are many things in between that I have to juggle with. I keep struggling and not forgetting stressing out in between hihi 😛 Alhamdulillah as of nowadays I’m getting better at managing things in the house. I want to be the best teacher and mom to my kids, the best wife to my husband and a successful WAHM. See how I put them accordingly? Yes, my kids are my top priority. If my actions don’t follow my priority I wouldn’t be happy. I just noticed this… very recently. Anyway… I still have lots of room to learn and improvise. I could see the picture how things should go and still practicing to run and keep everything under control. I consider myself still as a newbie in every area. A mom that’s new with ASD kid, a mom that’s new with more than 1 kids and a mom that’s new with the idea of working at home.
Alhamdulillah today is already the 2nd day I have started with intensive therapy with Ihsan at home. Although a bit difficult at times when Widad wants to be held. Free hands are easier for me to hold Ihsan, pull him, show him or even hold the hanger heee 😛 Yesterday he was rebellious. Yelah dah lama tak ikut peraturan jadinya naik lemak lah. Nak ikut kepala dia je. As of today he is getting better. Macam dah ingat balik how his schedule used to be. Boleh lah ikut. Tak rebellious sangat. But I could see that his focus has regressed a lot. Even when I talked loudly at him right beside his ears pun tak boleh tembus! Hebat tak hebat?! Also baru 2nd day ni I already felt sakit tekak haha! Memang kena cakap lembut2. Tapi at times terpaksa garang dengan Ihsan. Kalau tak garang memang sket pun dia tak ikut. Owh by the way… Ihsan sent home early by his teacher today because dia tantrum dekat school. Even yesterday pun sama. The issue is dia marah bila tak dapat apa dia nak. The thing is of course at school he has to follow instruction and no means no. Especially bila benda tu memang bukan untuk main apatah lagi orang lain punya. This is one of the things with ASD kid. Diorang tak dapat faham konsep ni. So… this is not the first time. But every time it happens, how do you think I would feel? 🙂 There’s always a surprise in the house when you have an ASD kid. I don’t know what awaits tomorrow.
Some people asked kenapa nak kena ajar kalau dah hantar school? Kenapa busy sangat? Parents lain pun ajar anak juga kat rumah takde lah busy macam saya. Yelah… saya bukan je kena ajar ABC, 123, alif ba ta. Tapi kena ajar serba-serbi termasuklah how to blow bubble, macam mana nak menggunting, macam mana nak buka seluar, macam mana nak sebut sesuatu perkataan, konsep sharing, konsep adik-beradik, perasaan, how to request, manners, even konsep family like Papa and Mama and etc pun kena ajar. I believe parents to typical kids don’t have to go for the hassles to teach their kids these kind of things kan? Betul tak? Syukur kan? 🙂 Alhamdulillah Ihsan dah kenal mana Papa, Mama, Widad and boleh sebut his own name although sebenarnya dia masih belum betul2 grasp the meaning of each title. So, even if the ASD kid is already sent to special school… but the kid spend masa selebihnya di rumah. So, nak harapkan school je memang tak cukup kalau nak ajar serba-serbi tentang kehidupan ni.
Saya tak pernah rasa saya ni kuat. Selalu je letih and give up. Kadang2 rasa tak sanggup dah. Tapi mungkin Allah tau saya boleh kot? Jadi, kena lah boleh2 kan juga ye tak? (Membayangkan tengah tarik diri sendiri untuk terus berdiri!). Doa2 kan lah saya selalu kuat macam harimau! Gambarimasu!