1) Sedangkan sebelum ni kami balik bercuti pun masa mula2 sampai Msia, kami ambil masa juga untuk adapt within the new new environment. Mama and Papa ambil masa nak sesuaikan semula diri dengan cuaca panas Msia pun ada lah dalam 2 weeks. Inikan lagi Ihsan hari tu lagi lah lama. So, inikan lagi kalau balik for good lagi lah macam2 benda nak adapt with. So, I think maybe it’s going to be tough if I want to start with the weaning off process during this period. Surely there will be a lot on Ihsan’s plate to take. I’m afraid Ihsan will be so pressured and stressed with so many things to cope. Thus only will give us both a very hard time. I read in the BabyCenter, one of the tips is to avoid launching the mission during major changes.
2) At the same time, the date we expected to go back will only be about 2 weeks before Ramadhan. In fact, Ihsan’s birthday this year will again be celebrated during Ramadhan which is about a week before 1st Syawal. Furthermore this year is gonna be our first proper raya with the family in Msia especially after years not celebrating raya properly. So, mesti kami kena pergi melawat saudara-mara yang dah lama xjumpa. The grandparents pun surely sibuk nak bawa the only cucu diorang ni beraya. So, again macam xsesuai je nak strike the mission. Silap2 asyik tension2 nangis2 especially both Ihsan and I. Unintentionally we might hamper others mood pula masa hari raya nanti bila diorang tengok kitorang.
3) Besides, I’m not sure whether it’s going to be a bonus or a disadvantage for me to start the weaning off mission in Msia. But of course I’m scared if it’s going to be the latter. Although the families are understanding and supporting on breastfeeding Ihsan but one thing for sure they don’t really have deep knowledge or real experience on breastfeeding and weaning off. I tend to be sensitive especially during hard times with Ihsan. I know their intention is good and they always wants to help. But sometimes their way isn’t synchronize to my liking. I should just say usually we have different ways of raising our child. Like last time when Ihsan fell sick and nearly hospitalized, there were a few times I got depressed while my mother and I handling Ihsan together. Although of course I didn’t regret it because she had been a great help after all. But I don’t want to get more depressed added by unnecessary things if I decided to wean off Ihsan later in Msia.
4) While on Ihsan himself, he’s still a very fussy eater up until now although I can say his appetite is getting a bit better than the earlier days. But at times he has the habit of refusing any kind of foods as if breast milk is his main food intake. Like for example he likes to refuse eating his breakfast and nagging me for breast milk. Since he is already a toddler and he needs a lot of foods for his energy source, taking breast milk alone is surely not enough. And definitely he tends to glue himself on me because he never could get enough of his milk. It’s really tiring and bothersome when especially I have to run the chores. Since he’s already a toddler so now he’s getting good at nagging for what he wants and it’s hard to make him cooperate because he doesn’t want to tolerate. So, I thought maybe he could eat better after he’s weaned off breastfeeding.
5) We think we are ready to start conceiving again starting next month. Since Ihsan is already big and we are going back for good soon, InsyaAllah. So I think it’s the best time to try expanding the family. Furthermore I nak kejar umur and stop getting pregnant before I reach 35 years old. Added that my health is Alhamdulillah is still in good condition. So, I better rush and make a few more kids LOL 😀 Anyway… because of this, I dah kira2 which months yang sesuai to go with the plan. Nampaknya I ada 2 bulan akan datang ni for starting. Sebab 3 bulan seterusnya tu macam bahaya sikit because my estimated delivery date (edd) dekat2 dengan bulan puasa next year. Kalau boleh nak elakkan ganti puasa2 banyak. So kalau nak sambung trying to conceive (ttc) adalah masa bulan ke 6 dan seterusnya. Lambat lah pulak. Tapi xtaulah kot2 malas nak tunggu, gamble je macam Ihsan dulu. Pasrah je lah kalau kena ganti puasa sebulan juga 😛 Anyway, if Allah nak bagi rezeki cepat, most probably I dah start loya2 masa puasa. So, mana nak handle Ihsan lagi kalau nak wean off. Nak handle diri sendiri pun sure larat xlarat je nanti.
6) Now I have a little bit problem with one of my breast which is causing me in pain while breastfeeding Ihsan. Added that he rarely could stay still and nicely while having his milk so this cause me to endure more pain. So, membuatkan I rasa nak stop breastfeeding him especially bila dia xboleh nak bersopan-santun menyusu membuatkan I terjerit2 kesakitan. Next time lah cerita on this, itu pun kalau rajin.
Tapiiiii….. only now I realize how sad it is to wean him off from my breast. Selama ni I only hear other mothers telling how they were so sad when the time has come to which make me think sampai macam tu sekali ke? Now I realized memang xsampai hati and sedih sangat bila tengok my Ihsan nangis2 nak menyusu tapi I elak2 sebab my breast sakit. Kalau bagi the other side pun usually I will easily get letdown reflex membuatkan my already swollen breast to engorge lagi. Bertambah lah sakit tu. I tengok muka Ihsan rasa macam I buat dia rasa as like terpaksa berpisah buat selama2nya and I rasa cruel sangat. From the first day he was born up until now we have created a very strong bond between each other. He made me feels how much he loves and needs me. Ironically only recently because of this reason no. 6) causing me to realize how I never knew i needed him too. Eceh macam tajuk lagu Ne-Yo plak. Tapi I fikir jugak kalau I breastfeed him until he’s 2 years old most probably I takkan rasa bersalah sangat. Sayang juga sebab lagi 2 bulan je to completekan penyusuan.
So, because of this too. I masih terfikir2 betul ke apa yang I buat ni? FYI I still haven’t made up my decision. I know setiap decision ada pros and cons masing2. I have been thinking about all the reasons as I listed is because I’m kind of person selalu planned beforehand sebelum buat apa2. Maybe sebab I rasa itu cara selamat since I’m occupied with actions to be taken kalau jadi begini or begitu. Cara macam mana nak wean off pun I masih fikir lagi. Cara cepat ke lambat ke extreme ke gentle ke pun xdecide lagi. Ihsan ni I rasa macam jenis yang susah je nak wean off. Hmm xtau lah. However, I know only me can decide what’s best for us. Hubby pula support je which decision I buat. Dia xkisah, jenis ‘take it easy’ or ‘don’t make it hard on yourself’. As much as you disagree with my opinions, please realize we are not the same. You lain I lain. Anak kita pun masing2 lain2. Apatah lagi situation masing2 lagi lah lain. So, please don’t judge. Tapi kalau nak share pendapat or pengalaman masing2, I alu2kan 🙂