Ops hubby just called and apparently they are at Tokyo Tower, taking pictures. I thought they were already somewhere and about to call off the day. I was imagining hubby at a road side in his sleeping bag hahaha! 😛 He said there are still lots of people there. But they have yet to decide where to spend the night. Actually they don’t have a specific plan. Earlier during the day they went to Shibuya doing window shopping and enjoying the night live atmosphere in the hustle bustle of big city Shibuya. As for tomorrow only then they will be heading to Akihabara, thei main destination. Funny thing is at the moment they will be like homeless people and will sleep at anywhere possible. Hubby could check in into hotel but he couldn’t left the other 3 persons behind. The trainees are on tight budget, so that’s why. I’m sure there are a lot of other travelers like them. Even during the day, we could see a lot of them everywhere. Well looking at the bright side, I bet hubby and the trainees are having a fun and adventurous time there in lively Tokyo. I’m sure there are lots of interesting things to see there. All I wished is they will stay safe, that’s all.
Somehow it struck me just now during the day once hubby left. I started to feel tensed realizing that he will be distant from us. But I tried very hard no to lose control. Or else Ihsan would surely get the wave and that’s the most thing I wanted to avoid. Luckily I’m succeed and Ihsan is already sleeping peacefully. I managed to get everything done smoothly and even played with him. Perhaps I can stay composed at least until hubby gets home tomorrow, plus Ihsan won’t make fuss that testing my patience. Somehow back to what I felt just now, that reminded me of our very long stay in Mesia soon. I might have mentioned a few times before although not specifically (because we couldn’t confirm yet) that will be going back to Mesia very soon. It will be in the middle of October which is next month. And it will be a very long one especially for me and Ihsan. Hubby will be attached to Mesia branch for 3 months and after that he will straightly continue with training course in Tokyo for 2 months. Because of that Ihsan and I will prolong our stay in Mesia for 5 months in total! 5 months is not a joke! That’s nearly half of a year already.
Although I wished I could spend my last 1 year in Japan as optimum as possible but of course I’m happy to go back to Mesia. But I didn’t expect it’s gonna be that long. Plus I prefer staying at my own home with my little family. I find it a bit uncomfortable to stay at my in-law’s or even at my own parent’s house for a very long time. No, I don’t have problems with them and they even more than happy to have us staying at their house. But I just feel that I’m so used staying at our very own crib, that’s all. You know, things like it’s more privacy, our crib is already baby-proofed, Ihsan already got many toys to play with, there are a lot of baby paraphernalia that I use everyday that really help assisting me managing Ihsan, I can wake up whenever I wish, I can do whatever I like, I can do things on my own ways, I can cook using utensils that I’m used with and towards all the teeny-weeny stuffs etc. Maybe because I’m one fussy lady so that’s why everything seems matters to me. In fact I will miss most of the autumn and winter this year! I wanted to roll myself on the snow bed! I wished I could move our crib to Mesia. Maybe I should ask Doraemon or Aladdin’s genie to help me out 😛 Well honestly… actually I think all of that don’t really matter. What bothers me at the first place is realizing that we will be apart from hubby. That’s the top reason that made me feels pressured.
I just realized that hubby is like my support system. So I always feel as like I couldn’t function well if we are not together. Just like earlier today suddenly I felt stressed. It was kind automatic although I didn’t mean to feel that way. It was a while before I could collect my composure. I know it’s just the state of the mind. I know I could survive. Well, I know I can lah actually. But this particular matter is what I’m really weak at the most since like forever. It’s hard for me to change my mind setting and thus not to be emotionally disturbed about this. I know I shouldn’t really think about this too much and just go on with it. By hook or by crook I will motivate myself and program my mind full with positivity later. But as for now I just want vent out whatever I’m feeling inside. I just want to whine and pour out all the negativity. Let me be until I’m satisfied 😀 Sheesh I hate being apart from hubby. Especially now we have Ihsan. Even he might not mind at all but I do mind I have to take care of Ihsan without hubby. Although there will be others who could help out but it’s not the same. Hubby understands his son more than anyone else. That will be easier for me to handle Ihsan. Last but not least, hubby understands me the most too.