What A Day!

Finally I have my own sweet time although it’s already nearly midnight. Today was quite rough. Well… actually it was more because of I’m feeling quite emotionally and mentally tired resulting me snapping at every little thing. Today we woke up rather early at about 5.30 am since hubby was going for a trip to Nagoya with the trainees. Even Ihsan also already woke up at that time. We continued to sleep after hubby left. At about 8.00 am Ihsan was already woke up and he kept going around the room and constantly coming to me and nagging to me to wake up. He kept rolling over on me, patting me, pulling my hair, biting me, burying his face on my pillow and so on. But I dreaded to wake up just yet and continue to shut my eyes. I managed to doze off although not that peacefully with the hope that Ihsan eventually would want to get back to sleep again later.

Then at about 9.30 am I realized that he came to me asking for milk. So I pulled him towards my side. Just when I thought he finally would want to join me, my hand touched something wet and cold on my pillow. I turned my head and I thought what the heck is that yellow thing on my pillow??? I instantly thought Ihsan vomited in bed but I thought something wasn’t right with the vomit. Then only I realized it was Ihsan’s poop! I immediately sit up and saw poop on Ihsan’s back and some traces of the pie at here and there in the bed. I felt like crying there and then! Of all days why must it happened when hubby wasn’t around?! I was not in the mood remember? I went into bed very late on the night before and today when it was still morning my day had already been spoiled. I felt hopeless! Yet I knew somehow I should settle the little fella, myself, the poop and everything in the bed. Urghhh! I braced myself!

So I brought Ihsan to the bathroom. We took bath. Then I took off all the covers in bed and got them clean. The tough part of course to drag the heavy mattress into the bathroom. I only cleaned up the part that got dirty. Finally I hanged everything outside to dry. Of all the days, luckily today was quite sunny. Indeed, I still had Allah’s mercy. Alhamdulillah. Actually Ihsan didn’t poop that much pun. But since he couldn’t stay put, his diaper londeh sikit. I noticed that he might has slipped at the edge of the bed so that’s why his poop spilled out at the back.

I felt vulnerable and irritated today. I’m not sure what’s the cause that made me feeling that way but I do realized the cause that triggered me to being unhappy. It’s actually nothing pun. But biasalah. No need to tell the details here karang ada yg cakap laa itu je ke? 😛 Eh suka hati aku lah! Eh tetiba 😛 Despite of already being moody, I had hard time feeding on Ihsan. Actually again it’s nothing pun but the mood somehow made my patience also running low too. Susah betul nk bg dia mkn. If I secured him on his chair he would struggle and don’t want to eat at all. So I let him go free. But he couldn’t stay put in one place and it was so annoying having had to follow him and at the same time cajole him to open his mouth urghhh!

To add more, the whole day he kept climbing the PC table and seriously I already lost count of how many times I needed to take him down in order to save the PC from being damaged. I blocked the table and etc with stuffs but he still tried to climb on them. If xdpt meja PC he climbed on other things plak. Penat! Honestly there was slight thought deep in me hoping him to fall down hard. Gee, nauzubillah! Of course I didn’t wish that to happen though. Kena beli laptop much sooner la agaknya kot? Other than that, today he bit me twice on my arms. Sakit! 🙁 Then during in the kitchen he was so determined to terkam on kain lap kaki under the sink which is obviously terribly dirty. God knows what’s on the kain lah kan. He played with the segregated sampah and tried to eat them. He played with onions and ate the skin that I needed to stop doing the dishes and dug his mouth. Nasi xnk mkn tp benda tah apa2 suka plak dia nk mkn. Xpaham betul!

Rasa nk picit tk tgk muka ni? Sometimes I intentionally make him cry because I feel so geram with him hihi 😛

At the end of the day I already felt emotionally drained out. Especially after constantly yelling at Ihsan and having had to do and say the same thing on him. I hit Ihsan’s legs and arms and bit him too. Tapi dia gelak je ahaha! Kalau nangis pun sket je. Mama plak yg rasa nk nangis tgk kamu! Yelahkan Mama buat xsakit pun. But do you know Ihsan, Mama geram sgt2 dgn Ihsan! Fortunately we did sleep together during the afternoon so at least I could give my soul some rest. Hubby got home at about 8.00 pm. He bought me a nice pink watch. No, it’s not an expensive one pun. He bought 2 watches for himself and 1 for me. Each harga 1000 Yen je hihi 😉 But since I was not in good mood my reaction didn’t do fair to his kind thought towards me. Sorry Yang. But I like the watch, though. Thanks ye. I love you, mmmuahhh! 🙂

Yesterday was raining for the whole day. Xbest betul weekend ni sbb mood xokay. By the way, honestly Ihsan had been the victim to my moodiness today hihi 😛 Siannn baby Mama. But gladly I didn’t go with my emotion that might lead me to do something I would regret. You know Yang, I couldn’t really say what was actually went wrong. But my life is very mundane. And the norm could be killing you know. So when things don’t go according how I wished them to be, I will easily feel sad and depressed. Sometimes I wished if only there would be a day just for myself without having to worry at all about anyone else except about myself and doing whatever I wished to do. Yeah, keep on dreaming. Nite-nite!

PS- Is watching National Geographic on the TV at the same time. It’s showing about monkey. Just now there’s a sick baby monkey slowly dying because of disease. So heart-wrenching looking at him! When he already died the mom still picked him up and carried him around. How loving is that and how sadddddddddd!!!!! Yet there’s people dumping babies everywhere like garbage. How evil is that?????!!!!! Ihsan Mama loves you so much! (Although you always drives me nuts).

13 Replies to “What A Day!”

  1. heheh… i ketawa bkn sbb x simpati, tetapi sbb cerita ini adalah sgt2 familiar dgn diri sendiri. i think u r probably a little tired and overworked kot, plus bila kena tinggal dgn hubby tu, biasa la, mcm2 hal plak terjadi, dah kena handle sendiri.

    i am like that too, kejap2 tinggi kan suara dgn aisyah, tp bila pikir2 balik, puncanya bcoz i am too tired. when we are well-rested, baru la judgement tu jadi waras sket. bila dah stress, jd pemarah dkt anak. bila dah marah, jd guilty plak. bila dah guilty, jd makin stress. oh it’s a vicious cycle!

    try to get some good rest ye ina. may tomorrow be better than today 🙂

    if it makes u feel any better, pg td pon i wanted to sleep sampai pkl 10 pg lebih, tp pkl 8.30 pg si kecik tu dah korek my bijik mata, suh bgn. bapaknya pon sama, suh i bgn gorengkan mi. it’s a sunday, for God’s sake! ahhh… motherhood 🙂

  2. Sangat boleh faham apa yang ina sedang rasa skrg ni,mungkin kena spend weekends kat luar kot,utk release tension tu.klau terperap dlm rumah je,mmg kita akan stress.

    part taknak makan dan nak makan jalan2 tu adehhh mmg geram kan.raziqh ni pun sama,nak buh dalam baby bumbo tu sah2 tak boleh dah.bila dah lepas,kdg2 tu tak reti dok diam sesaat,kena ikut je dia hanya sbb nak suap dia makan.

    ihsan pun suka panjat2 ek?hehe.kena bagi spot utk dia panjat turun sampai dia penat.kat umah ni meja kom diorg ni tak panjat,tinggi sikit kot.tp meja2 lain esp meja laptop ni perghhh sehari ntah brp puluh kali ntah dok naik turun,jatuh gedebuk2 tak heran,fith biar je,nak panjat sgt,haa panjat2!hahaha

  3. yuhuuu.. cuti 17,18 n 19 meh dtg yokohama jom. kami wat bbq. leh sembang release tension. umi mur tgk gambar ihsan tu pun rasa nak babab je ihsan tu, senyum menyakat. hihi..
    gambatte mommy, sekali sekala memang mood kita akan down, same here tambah2 kalo tak cukup tido n anak2 wat hal plak. errr cam tak membantu jek ayat ni. gomenne..

  4. Kak Oyis,
    Hihi tq kak 😉 You really made me feel better 😀 I guess the real cause is the thought that we had to be left behind while hubby g berseronok dgn kwn2. Pdhal bknnya xpenah kena tinggal. Tp tula dengki kot hati ni rasa xpuas hati. Even though hubby dh gtau 2 weeks b4. Then bila dh mmg rasa xbest every little flaws pn became big matter. Bertambah2 la menyesakkan fikiran sndiri ye tak? Mengada2 kan? hihi. Today hubby cuti sbb yesterday penat mandi laut n berjln so arini xlarat g keje. So today mood dh ok sbb dpt extra rest since ada hubby helped looking after d bb n ganti blk yesterday xdpt ngadap muka hubby haha 😛

    Tq Fith 😀 Tula actually Sabtu dh kuar pn tp hujan kan so ala2 kadar jela. Bila mood kureng pastu xdpt quality outing time tu yg menambahkan stress tu. Alhamdulillah today dh ok sbb dpt spent time dgn hubby haha! Haah Ihsan pn xleh dh duk dlm Bumbo seat tu dia keluar. Kalau highchair plak bahaya sbb dia nk berdiri pnjat meja. If xbg dia ngamuk2 hantuk pale. Bab jatuh gedebuk tu pn sama la Fith kiter biar je kalau xjatuh teruk. Cuma kdg2 tu risau takut kalau terhantuk kt bucu2 ke kan. Tu yg nk xnk kdg2 marah jugak tu. Mcm2 diorg ni kan. Haih sabar jelaaa! hihi

    Alaa hubby xcuti. Biasa la kaisya dia lain dr org lain. Dok pk gak nk g sana ni tp xplan lg. Tggu ye 😉 Eh xpe Murni. U made me realized that I’m not alone hihi. Tq yer 😉

  5. Kalo terperap kat umah je mmg bleh jadi sangap..
    jiey yg went thru it for 6 months je pun terasa..

    p/s – ihsan makin besar makin mirip ngan daddy dia.. =)

  6. *6 months pla*
    what i meant is almost 6 months of hubby-less weekend..
    dh la weekdays jumpe waktu mlm je coz dia blk lewat..
    takde org nk wat teman borak coz ian mana la reti bercakap..

  7. Jiey,
    I think in my case not really sbb terperap sbb nk kata keluar tu keluar jugak. Tp tula semuanya benda2 yg sama je kan. Tambah2 plak everday my life revolves around hubby n Ihsan je. Plus lately asal weekend je cuaca xbest so keluar pn ala2 kadar je. Kalau ada ramai org lain kt sini boleh la buat sembang2 cik kiah ke kan hihi. Sbb tu at times I sng je rasa stress. Kena carik/buat something yg out of d norm la kot like jln2 jauh2 sket ke apa ke kan 🙂

  8. hehe. kak tengok muka ihsan bukan rs nak picit, nak gigit.. aum..hihi. apa la agaknya ek yang baby fikir bila dia tengok semua benda2 yang dia suka sgt nak usik, uli, pegang, main n masukkan dalam mulut on their own tu ek? kalau kite bagi makan or main benda yang sepatutnya nampak macam tak beria pun the reaction. benda yang bukan-bukan tu jugak yang diaorang suka..

  9. noli tersenyum sambil baca dari mula sampai habis….hihi …memeng budak budak macam ni la…….haikal dulu pun masa tak faham sgt lagi macam tula…memang rasa patah pinggang nak melayan ..dan kadang kadang terlepas geram kat dia…nnati bila ihsan dah besar sikit bila ina baca balik , mesti ina tersenyum….sebab karenah tu tak berulang lagi…tapi macam macam karenah lain pulak, tapi tak la sakit pinggang sgt nak melayan…sementara nak besar mcm tula…noli selalu terfikir , surirumah tangga sepenuh masa memang hebat , sebab tabah dan kaut semangat layan anak, kerja rumah lagi, memang tak ada masa untuk diri sendiri sepuasnya…kalau ibu yang bekerja, sekurang kurangnya ada tempat lain untuk free seketika…namun masih ada kerja bila balik dari pejabat..dua dua sama hebat…tapi memang kagum dengan suri rumah…noli haikal tak duduk rumah siang, kadang kadang rasa rugi ….mungkin ada hikmah untuk bersalin tanpa famili nanti….lepastu kena fikir lain la…walaupun penat tapi bermaknakan masa dengan anak…hihi walaupun rasa geram nak picit…hihi….good luck ina…ihsan, jgn buaaih sgt tau!..hihi

  10. haha.. same jek mcm mama aku cte dlu. tp aku dlu x susah sgt nk bg mkn. kakak aku la.. kne bwk main kt luar same2 dgn abah aku kejar die nk bg mkn. berejam2 nk habiskn 1bowl kecik tu. tu pn kalo dpt habiskn.. huhukk..

    faheem ni so far behave lg bab2 mkn ni. tp da pnadai xnk baring btol2 dlm car seat die. nk duduk plak. prasan btol budak kecik tu. duduk sndri pn x boleh lg ni mkn nk duduk plakk.. hehehe.. 😀 tp esok2 da besa mcm ihsan mcm mane la pangai nye wallahualam..

  11. Sue,
    Itula Sue mmg gerammm! Diorg ni sbnrnya main hentam je. Bukannya dia tau nk bezakan mana boleh mana xboleh. Bagi diorg sumer nyer boleh! Ihsan ni plak jns xmkn saman. Kiter marah dia xtakut! Double geram!

    Kiter kalau tension2 sgt kdg2 terpk bestnya keje. Mmg la keje pn tough n penat jugak tp at least ada jugak dunia lain and xde la stuck dgn bb 24-7. Tp sbnrnya lg suka jd SAHM ni sbb lg suka jd anak sndiri walaupun sbnrnya bukan lah senang! Tulakan semua mak yg ada anak kecik mmg akan mengalami perkara yg sama. Cuma xserupa je. Lumrah la bdk2 mmg mcm tu. Nnt dh bsr lain plak cabaran nyer. Tp tula dh nama pn org sabar nyer pn terbatas. Bila dh byk sgt buat perangai sabar tu pn jadi nipis. Kena pandai manage stress la kan. So that boleh release stress dgn cara yg betul n berkesan. Pastu br la boleh bersemangat blk jaga anak. Mcm kereta la kan kalau nk jalan kena la top up minyak or mcm bateri kalau dh sampai hayat kena tukar hihi. Haih… semoga Allah kurniakan kesabaran yg jitu selalu, amin! Btw tq Norlin ye 🙂

    Hihi itula Lisa bila kecik lain dugaan dia tp sng kt lain. Bila dh bsr lain plak. Mcm tula berterusan sampai la dh bsr gajah nnt kan. Mmg ada je benda yg nk menguji kesabaran mak2 ni. Lain budak lain plak. Masing2 xsama. Papepun moga anak2 kiter jadi anak2 yg memudahkan n menyenangkan hati selalu, InsyaAllah 🙂

  12. yer sis.. bila penat ni kekadang susah nak control perasaan kan? cuma ingat satu jer.. kita menjaga zuriat sendiri dan inshaAllah setiap sentuhan kita buat anak adalah aliran pahala buat kita yang bergelar ibu.. inshAllah! Dan sungguh2 jeles kat saper2 yg bergelar SAHM ni.. 😛

  13. Ummumishkah,
    Tq kak. InsyaAlah akan sentiasa ingat kata2 akak ni. Ni baru anak sorg belum g 4 mcm akak hihi. Kena tingkatkan lagi kesabaran dlm diri ni 😀

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