I have so many things to ramble about tapi 2 3 hari ni malas betul lah nak memblog. I did try to update tapi sekerat2 jalan je. Nanti lah sambung. Rasa macam lemau je nak wat apa2 2 3 hari ni 😛
At this moment I’m feeling itching to just buy the M*AS promotion ticket already but a few circumstances are keeping me away from doing so. I so wanna go back having a nice long holiday in Mesia. I was told about M*AS promotion until this June 10th by Murni, and I did check and find that it really offer an incredibly cheap price compared to usual! After forwarding the matter to hubby, the conclusion I got is I CAN go back but ALONE or with the baby. Hubby can’t go back, so he said because it could jeopardise his evaluation record for taking so many leaves and eventually of course that will affect his bonus too. To add up, since the economic down turn; the company’s progress has become slower and even though it is getting better but this had already affected EVERYTHING, from working system to bonus (again :P). Also not forget to mention, he is kinda important person when it comes to works that related to Mesia branch, so it is gonna be hard if he is not around. Last time the bosses also seemed reluctant to let him on leave for a very long time phbt! Still… he can go back if he wants to but the major thing is, he is NOT REALLY up to it… that’s why. Moreover because we had just gone back last January. And he thought he DOESN’T MIND not going back at all in the meantime since we are planning go back for good (most probably) in 2011. Dia kata… susah lah asyik nak balik je keje.
Okay now… I still can go back if I really want to right? The price is just too TEMPTING that even has made me thinking about going back next month and giving birth in Mesia (owh close to impossible for me to do) then come back here later somewhere in October with the baby. My mom and MIL will be very pleased with the idea, I knew. OR… I can wait for the baby to pop out first and go back with him right after my confinement and have a month or more holiday in Mesia before coming back to Japan. Yeah… that sounds REALLY SIMPLE actually. Hubby NEVER mind at all if I ever want to proceed with idea. Although I kinda pity him if he has to stay alone without me in this SO EXTREMELY BORING village, but that actually not going to become problem to him; NOT EVEN A LITTLE. So what’s the fuss actually? Well.. the thing is… I CAN’T just DO-IT-ALREADY!!! Simply because I CAN’T get myself apart with hubby sheeshhh! Yeah… that’s the real problem. Hubby said… hmmm payah lah nak cakap camni. Why is it so hard? Not that I never used to being apart from him for such a long time. I did before, and I survived indeed. But… I really don’t know. Can some one smack me on the face already? Can some one tell me how do you guys do it? Or might be I should ask hubby apa dia dah jampi kat I selama ni? 😛
Sigh… I just knew I’m not gonna be that happy if I plan to go back alone and having to live days without him by my side. I’m such a clingy wife, yeah what-e-vah~~~ I’m sure I’m gonna be insanely missing him and at times I would tend to be easily be moody and meroyan if he is not with me. I knew because that’s what happened last time long ago 😛 How can lah kan ko boleh hidup dolu2 n tetiba sejak bila plak dia sentiasa kena ada kt sebelah as ur source of sanity?! Last time when hubby suggested for me to give birth in Mesia I had already cried for buckets there and then! Padahal pakcik tu baru je bukak mulut bagi cadangan. Moreover if I go back alone I have to settle things that I don’t like all by myself… this and that… so on and so forth. Owh so many excuses! Alah kalau nak buat boleh je. Banyak la ko punya alasan. Nevermind… I’m just gonna pass the opportunity this time and voluntarily glue myself under hubby’s armpit. Ngengada betul. As what my mom always said… nnt blk sorg2 asyik nangis2 tension2… baik xyah balik 😛 But sbnrnya memang lah kalau I nak buat mmg boleh aje. Bukanlah susah pun n bukannya xpenah buat pun. Cuma skrg ni terlalu ikut sangat rasa hati yang senget ni eheee~~~
Anyway perhaps next time there will be M*AS promotion again and hopefully if hubby is not convenient to go back at least at that time I have changed the way I set my mind. Masalah lah ko (read: I) nih! Takpela somehow it will be much easier if Adik has popped out then. Lagi senang sket citer. Now I better stop thinking about this already. I don’t really think of it pun. Only gatal melayan the tiny voices at the back of my mind. I’m good actually. I don’t feel bad or anything at all although I think it would be nice if it could be true. But it is much nicer and my mind will always be at ease if I stay with what I feel best for me. Yeah… I’m gonna stuck myself here with hubby… and this what makes me comfortable right now and at close times to come. Cheers! 😀
PS- To friends who are going back soon, I wish you have a safe journey to and fro. Have a great time at home. And don’t forget to eat A LOT for me. Tapi sorrylah if ur weight increase plak and mine maintain hehehe 😉