Pagi tadi after taking bath hubby rub some V*cks on his perut. I was still baring2 n upon seeing him I asked like… apsal buh v*cks kat perut?. Then he said… sebab sakit perut la. I thought betul la sakit perut sebab muka serius je. Then I said lagi… sakit perut apsal buh v*cks plak bubuh la balm gamat tu. Then dia pun terus campak v*cks n amik balm tu and put it into his jeans pocket. Tadi dah balik keje I saw the balm gamat on the cabinet. I took it to simpan balik in the bedroom. Tetiba terasa macam musykil n terpk nak tanya… Abang bawak balm ni sebab betul2 sakit perut ke sebab sesaja nak buat2 sakit perut? Masa tanya ni memang dah tegelak2 dah. To which he answered… hehehe sesaja la buat2 macam sakit perut… sapu2 sket bagi ada bau. Hahaha terus cubit pipi dia! Keji tau tektik pakcik ni. Ayang tak baik tau tipu2! ;P ;P ;P
Owh yeah first and foremost… lat Thursday, October 16th, 2008 marked the 5th year our paths crossed each other’s. Started with a short Hi and the rest is history 🙂 So, that’s why the date for today’s entry is as above even though it is actually the October 21st, 2008. Well… seems like our relationship is still… very young in age. But amazingly we have gone through so much with each other, ups and downs. I’m not meaning to brag but I feel proud that we actually managed to still standing side by side holding hands with each other to move forward together most of the times. Perhaps all of these would strengthen our love even more for more years to come and even continuing in the afterlife, InsyaAllah. Honestly… I totally forgotten about the day. But on last Saturday morning while waking up; hubby wished me something like this, “Happy belated anniversary first time kenal, Sayang”, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I didn’t realize the word belated at first and was quite surprised hubby didn’t forget it. I asked him the date of that day, he told me; then only I realized he also had forgotten the day and only remembered it on that Saturday morning cehhh! ;P Well, he said at least he didn’t forget it totally like me ;P Then… we reminisced back how the day had taken place on the past 5 years before he went to work 🙂 Yup, he got to work on last Saturday… so it was a quite boring weekend as an overall.
Hmm we are planning to visit our ‘Ab*d Darling’s grave in near time to come. Actually we have been talking of doing this since past a few months. It is already about 5 months since we last made a visit there and I had been there once, whereas twice for hubby. I think… I should go there very soon since I kinda tend to feel unstable emotionally more frequently nowadays. The tingling sensation would easily arise in me and my eyes would become teary without fail to spill a few tears as soon as my mind rekindle back towards remembering him. I guess I just miss him so much these days. So I need to go there to refill the strength tank in me. Truly… I kinda feel dragged to go there too at the first place. I don’t know why. Last time we went there, we were very calm and in fact I didn’t feel anything heavy. We even laughing towards each other while taking pictures with ‘Ab*d’s grave. However this time, Im scared instead of feeling better; I would loose my composure and drown in my sea of emotion there. I don’t want to be in that state. I don’t want to be weak. I always make myself believe that I am a strong and an amazing mom to him. He would be sad in there if I be sad. Plus, I don’t want to be sad in front of his dad too. So… I must make myself believe that I actually can do it. Because actually I really can do it, no? hmm…
Talking about this, my mom did send me a book together with all the food stocks and kuih raya stuffs a month back during R*madhan. When she was here I told her to find me a book which can gimme some explanations to all the questions that kept boggling my mind over what had happened to me. Being in here, it is hard for me to find such particular information especially reading materials. Even the world wide web couldn’t be of so much help some times. So apparently she did find one. The book is actually a compilations of hadeeths from many hadeeth narrators and including some verses from the Q*ran. She said there were only 2 copies left in the shop so she took the better one. Both books were already old and isn’t published anymore. Once it reached me… I was directly attracted to the some of the titles in the table of contents. So I jumped from one page to another to read them. Truly, I felt as like the book is specially dedicated to me. But… my bad that I haven’t finished reading it yet or should I say I haven’t started to thoroughly scan the content of the book yet ;P It is my bad habit that I find it is hard for me to start doing whatever I need to do. I need extra efforts to push myself but once I started, I just couldn’t stop 🙂 Anyway… maybe this is the right time to start reading it. I’m sure reading by reading the book will make me able to maintain my composure or even more to strengthen it so that I can survive the day without messing my face, InsyaAllah.
At the same time, I wish to go for autumn-viewing too since if I’m not mistaken it is the peak of the season when the scenery becomes very enchanting at least in my place and up to the north. This is my 3rd year experiencing autumn but I never went for autumn-viewing yet and I don’t have any pictures of me with the autumn scenery phbt! ;P So… pertaining to my plan of visiting the grave earlier… I think we may give it in one go. Just to save time, energy and COST ;D Furthermore Y*manashi is situated slightly above so most probably the trees has changed to significant colors already. I must tell hubby to find the places that we might pay a visit which situated in the same way towards the cemetary. Anyway for peeps in N*hon, just so you know; there are only two M*slim cemetery areas in N*hon. One is in Y*manashi while the other one is in H*kkaido as what we had been told by the Isl*mic C*nter J*pan. So that’s why our son is buried in Y*manashi, okay. This is because many people asked why we buried him there. Hopefully the number is growing perhaps in other parts in N*hon so that it will be more convenient for other M*slims in N*hon in handling a decease especially to those who are living far away from these 2 places. Talking from experiences 🙂
Anyway, fast come weekend! ;D I love outing moments with hubby bucuk 😉 Kiter gi weekend ni lah nak tak Ayang?