When Will It Be?

***Updated- I forgot that hubby is gonna have to work tomorrow arghhhh! (boringnyerhhh). No one to accompany me golek-golek peacefully on tomorrow morning *sob-sob* 🙁***

Hmmm hmmm hmmm………. I’m feeling like want to blog but I don’t actually have any specific idea in mind at this moment. First of all… it is windy today even though it is sunny as usual. But I’m pretty comfortable right now. Perhaps the weather is gonna stay like this for this weekend since we have some small agendas to entertain ourselves with.

By the way I didn’t join the picnic beside the river on last Monday. As usual I was being sulked with him over a tiny matter which turned huge unexpectedly. So in the morning when he woke up he didn’t urge me to wake up too or ask me to get ready. I was in between whether wanted to go or not but actually I silently kept waiting for him to tell me to get up. However apparently he just said flatly, “Abang keluar” and made himself gone *poof!* at the end 😛 😛 😛 Grrrrr so I ended up continuing to sleep until the noon. By the way it was gloomy and raining in the afternoon on that day so the bbq session was slightly ruined. But I’m sure they had FUNNNNN nonetheless 😛 😛 😛 I wonder why this kind of things should happen during a very important time? duh~~~. Apparently I started it but he was the one who took it wrongly thus caused me to get mad and lastly he became angry towards me too 😛 Anyway I still blamed it on him for not being understanding enough 😛 😛 😛 However he brought back the satay for me during the night still and definitely I didn’t turn off the offer. Mekacih Ayang mmuahhh! ;P Mmm yummeh! It tasted like satay K*jang tapi tawar sket. So… since I missed it last week, that’s why we (read: he) plans to go there again this weekend but this time only the 2 of us. Owh actually we went to other waterfall earlier on Saturday since it was so hot on that day. Well… it was so refreshing and I think want to go there again this weekend 😀

I have a not so good news which is nobody would care less except myself lah! I have slightly added more weight since last weekend might probably due to all the foods I gobbled down during the makan-makan session and also from the bbq. Urghhh so I’m feeling a bit tensed already. Not that I ate that much but probably might be because the foods were high of cholesterol? Owh whatever! What I have been doing is to have a cup of my favorite hot N*scaffe with less sugar and 3 pieces salted biscuits for breakfast, just take Shaklee soy protein during lunch and have meal as usual during dinner but with a smaller portion of rice. I also drink green tea, eat more fruits, don’t skip my supplements and avoid sweet stuffs and junk foods as much as I can. Now I’m thinking of to start starving myself 😛 Besides exercising maybe I should avoid to eat as often as possible? hohoho. I know that is not healthy. But I’m soo can’t be patient to get my target weight. As for now it has been like a yo-yo from 49 to 48++ and back to 49 duh~~~. It is so annoying to see the number on the weight scale and sometimes I just feel like this thing is actually playing trick on me. But well… I still have much time right? All I have to do is just to keep determined on exercising and follow balanced diet which means from today onwards I’m gonna call it starving myself. Because that is actually what I’m going to do. I am DESPERATE, that’s WHY ;P

It is going to be summer holiday coming soon and we have several plans in mind. But I think most of the times we just gonna spend times visiting several places near to our home only. Since we have some major agendas to take actions in a few months to come… so we need to save some budgets for those *wink-wink* ;P I just can’t wait! By the way… why owh whyyy am I feeling the time is crawling so slowwwww?! It has only been 2++ months since I __________. Okay why I want the time to fly fast is because as I said… I have many important and interesting plans to execute. No wild guess is welcomed, I warn ya! 😛 Besides that… I really should work on my plants this coming holiday. The flower is coming out from my cherry tomato tree and seems like the fruits are coming out soon! As for my chillie tree there are more chillies coming out and I even had plucked some of them for cooking. Anyway, I hope we can really clear all the unwanted trees, weeds, wild flowers and long grass from the front compound. Since they have been the nests for the uninvited little neighbors all these while.

Anyway my everyday is kinda occupied depends on my mood. But most of the time I’m being productive and make use the time of the day. Well… at least by exercising. I don’t easily feel tired once I start working out with the gym cycle or the stepper anymore. I guess I should start adding more resistance to them or just working out using them in a longer period. Usually in the morning after sending hubby to the front door to work… I will have my breakfast and at the same time surfing the net. I would check my email… read some blogs which have been my cuppa tea since forever, browsed the news headlines and have a look on some other things. After that I will launch Quran Explorer and let it plays from the start, turn on the volume just nice enough for me to hear the recitation from the bedroom and turned the pc monitor to hibernate. Then I would lie down in the bed and start to SMS to hubby whatever all the things I want to tell him including things I want him to take notes. Most of the times….. usually I would say that I miss him soo much and I can’t sleep without him. Well… that is because I really feel of it that way even though he is just going to work as normally he does. Hubby rarely reply to me and even if he did it were just very short ones. But normally he would rise the matter once he reached home… just the important ones lah. As for all the mushy-mushy ones usually I am the one who would mention about it back and ask for him to reply verbally in front of moi hehehe ;P Saya bini yang gedik saya sedar!

I hate being at home alone without him because I don’t feel secure since there is no one to look after me. I bet if I have the baby with me I would definitely feel more insecure without him with us. Owh obviously I don’t sound like an adult by saying this 😛 😛 😛 But actually after all I just feel that I really miss him that’s all and I don’t like being alone. Due to that….. he had have 1 or 2 days of his annual leaves burned simply because in that morning I held him and told him not to go to work ;P Anyway after sending SMS to hubby I would fall asleep but I rarely able to sleep soundly simply because I feel insecure. Not that I can’t take care of myself but the feeling just come hence that’s how I feel. I just can’t help it to feel that way okay. But at least Quran Explorer recitation keeps me calmer than usual most of the time. It has been my essential since then to keep it playing non-stopped every time I’m alone at home. It gives peace in the mind and heart to me and able to cast all the non-sense and unnecessary thoughts and sadness away 🙂 Instead of listening to it… maybe I should read it myself more than I usually do. Surely I’m gonna get lots calmer by doing the latter more.

Lately I have realized that more silent readers within N*hon are reading my blog too. I really can’t stop wondering who you are? hihihi 😀 Some of them are people I already knew and they also knew that I know them reading my blog. I kinda like to guess who they are from the traffic shown. However there are some whom I really don’t have the idea who they are. So… mind to say HI to me? 😀 😀 😀 I hope you (read: silent readers in J*pan) don’t mind. You don’t need to really reveal yourself if you don’t want to. You can use pseudonym and just tell me where you come from that’s all. But if you don’t, I will totally understand 😉 Owh silent readers outside J*pan are also welcome to get out from the hiding and say HELLO 😀 Cehhh perasan macam ada ramai je orang baca blog dia (pointing to myself) ;P ;P ;P It is just that I keep wondering that how far we are from each other and it is interesting to be able to meet even at least in the blog. Itu aje tak lebih dari itu 🙂

Erm….. honestly sometimes I keep thinking to privatize my blog. I don’t know why but I think it is an interesting idea to try though. Gatal kan????? 😀 Should I or should I not? ngeeeee ;D ;D ;D

PS- Abaikan tajuk di atas 😛 😛 😛

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