Sigh… I’ve just completed the 2nd paragraph of my new entry when suddenly something wrong went on with Mozilla of this pc and everything was gone! Hmmm sabar… sabar… sabar… Kiter tulis balik lagi sekali. Hopefully it is not gonna happen again since now I’m using IE plak. If not aku hempuk jugak pc ni kang. Eheh tapi pc ni xbersalah kan? 😛

It is so hot today… in fact since the rest previously days. I’ve been waiting for rain to come and even though sometimes the weather forecast said that it might be raining for certain particular days, turned out the days were only cloudy before they turned back to sunny. Where has all the rain on earth goes to? Living in the 4 seasons country really can show the obvious effects of global warming. Enough to say that it is only July and I can’t imagine how hot it is gonna be when come August. Then… later I’m gonna be able to see how confused all the plants during autumn and spring. Owh I’m not gonna talk about that any further. Tengok jelah sendiri. Kalau takleh tengok… Google jer then click. All the information is on your finger tips right away.

Anyway today’s temperature is 31 degree C. That is quite good actually since it is windy too for today. There were days when the temperature shot up to 35 degree C and there were no wind perghhh! Well… the fan isn’t being the amazing friend anymore when the weather is getting hotter each day. The previous home has an air-cond installed but the current home is not. We think of buying an air-cond but it is gonna be quite a troublesome. This new home is an old house so the total power supply is low compared to the new houses nowadays. So basically when I use many electrical equipments at the same time such as doing my baking project at night and when at the same time other necessary power sources were switched ON for example the lights, the main power tends to suddenly switched OFF. So, we might need to change these and that if we want to install an air-cond. Furthermore… I’m quite hesitate to spend some amount of money for an air-cond since I think we can still tolerate with the weather. What makes me more dread even more is when to think that we try to save some money for a few long term agendas but there is always something comes up which requires us to spend the money duh~~~. Well… as I said earlier… we are not that desperate yet. After all… it is gonna last for only 2 more months more and plus the air-cond will stay in this house when we move back for good later. At least the house has many windows and it is quite cool at night too… so… it is not that bad actually. So… we are gonna stick to our old friend, the fan 😀

At the moment I’m still busy doing my workouts everyday in my mission of loosing some weights. I usually do my workouts during after Asar until Maghrib. Owh yeah… I finally found a stepper but just a 2nd hand one. I tried to find from the shops but couldn’t find any that suitable. But I finally found the one I wanted at the 2nd hand shop which we always frequent. As usual, despite of already cheap price of the item… hubby still got great deal from there 😀 That’s why I lurveeeee J*apan because there are many 2nd hand shops and 100 Yen shops in here. All the items in the shops are in great condition and as good as new. Most of the stuffs are in good quality too and even some of them are actually still new which were unsold from the previous shops. What more important is… I can do what I want to do with the stepper. So it doesn’t matter if I got it with slight scratches here and there and was quite dusty. Despite of the price I paid, it was still more than worth it. Owh yes… a few days after that, I got a gym cycle from the same shop. This time… the gym cycle is still very new and I was so satisfied to get it at a very cheap price. So everyday… I will do an aerobic exercise especially abs crunches for a few minutes, cycling, stair-climbing using the stepper and once in a while I will do yoga. Bestlah tdo pun nyenyak je and help ease off my stress too.

As a result… I have found out that my metabolism is getting better. Dah tak semput sangat. The last time I really exercise was zaman skolah2 dulu. Dah lamaaa dah kan. Masa tu bulan puasa pun boleh terloncat2 macam monyet macam tak ingat kat padang… xreti penat ;P As for now… I think my weight has reached 49 kg which means I have 1 more kg to lose to get back my pre-pregnancy weight. Actually it is kinda confusing lah. When I woke up int the morning + sleep wear + no breakfast my weight was like 48.5 kg, when I just had my meal either lunch or dinner my weight was like 49.2 kg but when I was ready to go out which means I was clad in my outing clothes my weight might shoot up to 49.9 kg. So I think maybe I should put my target weight to 44 kg so that when I’m ready to go outing, my weight total is 45 kg heeeee! 😀 That’s the problem when you have digital weight scale at home which have 1 decimal place. Asyik2 nak timbang berat je keje 1 hari nak dekat 20 kali kot. Kesian la penimbang tu. Nasib baik dia xleh jerit. I wonder if I have 2 decimal places digital weight scale macam Datin Syana sure aku jadi lagi haru harharhar! Ko timbang berat cmner Datin Syana? Citer sket! Anyway hopefully by the end of Ramadhan I’m gonna achieve my target weight lah, InsyaAllah. Erk sempat ke ni?

Regarding my conditions in ‘that’ matter… well Alhamdulillah I’m fine and getting better each day. Nowadays I no longer keep being sad and crying for non-stop or suddenly for no reason all the times. Of course I still keep thinking or remembering about him once in a while. Tapi macam angin lalu je lah sedihnya. Even if I do think really hard pun I’m no more deeply disturbed. How can lah if I don’t want to think about him at all kan. Bleh ke??? Mana boleh lah! It is just the same of remembering your parents and keep missing them most of the time. Macam tu lah. Basically I can say that I’ve stopped mourning over my loss. What I do everyday is I keep remembering him in my prayers day and night. Remembering all the moments we had together once even though it was short. I started to reminiscing the memories we had together in a happy way. Well it is kinda therapy for me actually. Orang kata jangan dikenang2. But come to think of it mana boleh xingat langsung xreti lah macam mana. Apatah lagi it is my son lah I’m talking about. Normal lah ingat anak sendiri. Until the end of time pun I’ll never can stop thinking about him even if I want to.

Some people thought that it is hurting me to talk about anything related to him. Honestly… I don’t mind at all. In fact I’m happy to talk about my son (ada ke mak yang tak suka cakap pasal anak sendiri?…) even though the stories I have might be different than most others. I don’t mind for people to ask or anything as long as they don’t ask or talk rubbish lah. It isn’t a problem for me but somehow what I hate most were when some people trying to act there was nothing at all that really happened and try to make me laugh. Padahal dia tau yang kiter tau dia tau. At least cakaplah takziah ke or sabar lah ke then baru lah buat lawak. Ini tak terus2 buat lawak yang tak lawak padahal dia tau kiter tengah berdokacitah. Malah lawak dia tu pun memang lawak yang tak sama macam selalu dan kiter tau apa tujuan dia buat macam tu. To me… that’s not the way to show how you were concerned towards me… Lebih baik senyap je buat2 mcm xtau n then tahun depan baru tegur balik sambil buat lawak. Macam mana ye nak citer? Sama macam tak kena masa dan tempat lah. Kalau adik kiter batuk mestilah kiter bagi ubat batuk kan bukannya bagi ubat sakit mata. So macam tu lah. Takpela… I aprreciate the efforts anyway. Orang lain bukannya boleh baca apa ada dalam kepala kiter ni kan. Hishhh apa sensitif2 nih! (marah diri sendiri n salahkan diri sendiri :P…). Owh jangan risau orang tu memang tak wujud dalam blogosphere ni.

Well.. enough about that… anyway… don’t be afraid lah. I don’t get sensitive so easily and in fact I’ve told some people every single detail of the story. I’m not in that delicate state anymore… at least even if I still do… I’m trying to believe that I’m strong. Takde keje la aku nak sedey2 sampai tahun gajah. I happy aper anak I dah selamat berbahagia kat ‘sana’ 😀 But this doesn’t mean I’m giving green light to anyone to sesuka hati bercakap pasal tu with me. Just wait for my special entry. I’m gonna tell each and every single thing that happened in it. Not that my intention for doing it is to tell others but more towards for my own rememberance because I don’t want to forget every single detail of it 😉 But when I’m gonna do it?… I still don’t know. I need some time for that because it is important for me. Owh yes… I’ve closed his blog since I don’t have anything to write in that blog anymore. I also have transferred those entries into this blog. I think I’m gonna combine all in this blog if I get pregnant again later. This is easier since I don’t have to maintain 2 blogs at the same time. After all… sometimes the stories are quite the same and related to each other.

It is gonna be weekend tomorrow owh seronoknyerh! I love it when hubby is around even if when we have declared war between each other. Fortunately we rarely fight these days perhaps he is being more understanding more than he was?… I be more tolerable with him?… He is being more caring and loving towards me?… I be less a nagger towards him?… He got the shocked of his life after having to witness everything happened all around us especially towards me?… I be kinder towards him?… Or it is simply because there is the little angel over ‘there’ who keeps praying for our happiness always? hihihi… 😀 Mana2 jelah. All are true. This is good actually… a blessing in disguise I must say. 1 of the among many blessings we are receiving. Tapi gaduh2 pun best. I like the aftermath part ;P Owh by the way… on Sunday I’m gonna welcome new guests for a makan-makan session at our house. They are husband and wife who are just settled down in a town near Matsumoto which is a town that is quite near to ours. I’m so glad and can’t wait to meet them! Whereas on Monday there will be bbq picnic at the river near here. If I’m not mistaken the trainees and including hubby are gonna make satay on that day. Sedapnyerh! Well… hopefully jadilah diorg buat. Kalau xsedap pun aku telan jugak asalkan xpayah susah2 sndiri yang buat harharhar! Yup his company will be having holiday on Monday. As usual… they are not having holiday according to the calendar as most others do. Sebab tu lah susah nak jumpa2 orang lain kat tempat lain hurmmm………. Tapi sekarang panas sangatlah. Tak best nak jalan2 pun. Owh we went to see hanabi down the hill we live on last Saturday but this year’s hanabi boring lah. Last year’s was better.

Last but not least… before I forgot… hihihi 🙂 about hubby’s reactions upon reading previous entry. Truly, I asked him to read it right before sleep on Monday night because I couldn’t wait anymore longer for him to stumble upon the entry himself. He was being busy with his stuffs during the weekend and the pc needed to be reformat and so on. Actually at that time he was already lying on the bed but he came to the pc when I coaxed him. As usual he was annoyed and started to complain to me. He thought that I forced him to really give a feedback towards that entry hohoho ;P Anyway he was smiling and buat muka gedik all the time huahuahua! But I know he was touched by reading that entry and dia suka sebenarnya kannn??? ;P Then right before sleep I wished him again happy birthday ;D Sesuka hati je bebila nak wish n bape kali nak wish.

Wah nampak gayanya kiter kena sambung honeymoon berdua balik lah kan Ayang kan? Perhaps for one more year ajelah lagi kot ;P

I’m Not So Fond Of Summer

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