Al-Fatihah To Our Beloved Ahmad ‘Abid Qiwaidir Bin Abdul Latif

Honestly I really don’t know how and from where to start. Alhamdulillah, I had safely given birth to our first child, ‘Abid on Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 at 8.09 a.m in Iida Municipal Hospital, Iida City, Nagano-ken. Alhamdulillah, highest gratitude to Allah too that ‘Abid was more than perfect and so beautiful when he was born….. only that Allah has fated that it was enough to borrow ‘Abid to us for 38 weeks and 1 day only. As of today, it has been a week since I gave birth to ‘Abid and it also has been 5 days since his burial in Yamanashi-ken. Truly, this has been the most difficult time in our lives but no matter how hard it is we keep striving to recuperate ourselves. As weak servants of Allah, sometimes it is hard for us to believe of what had happened and I do confess that I was really devastated upon accepting the reality. Especially when ‘Abid and I sailed on a very smooth pregnancy and we both were healthy. Even the doctor couldn’t confirm the exact reason why healthy ‘Abid was born stillbirth. Only Allah knows best. We were so confused indeed. It is so surreal to us moreover when everything took place just like in the blink of an eye. Nevertheless, deep down in our hearts we already accepted the fate bestowed upon us right away after we received the never expected news. Maybe this is what is best for us and ‘Abid. Somehow maybe we should be grateful as we and ‘Abid have been the chosen ones to be bestowed by this wonderful blessing by Him. Even if ‘Abid is still alive….. someday he will still be taken away from us….. only that we never know how and when. Now ‘Abid had already gone….. in the best way a man can think of. What more can we ask? That is what we think of everyday every time we feel like missing ‘Abid to the bits.

Although we wished ‘Abid as a child as the one who would send us to the cemetery someday, Allah had decided that it was going to be the other way round. It is really hard indeed… but we never thought that Allah wants to present us an angel who will be waiting for us in the hereafter instead. There are so many things that we have learned along the way of what had happened. I pray that this will teach us to be better Muslims with better faith from day to day. There are hikmahs behind of what had happened which we have yet to discover. I pray that someday we will be able to get into jannah….. to meet our beloved ‘Abid that we miss during each and every second of our hearts beating. I pray that ‘Abid is now placed at the best place in heaven near to Allah. I pray too that ‘Abid will always pray for the well-being of us, the parents so that he can manage to get us to be at the same place with him. Even though we never got the chance to shower our love to ‘Abid like most parents do, but we feel so grateful that Allah gave chance to us to perform jenazah bathing to ‘Abid in the bathroom, to wipe ‘Abid after being bathed in the bedroom, to buy the white clothes for kafan at the suppa, to cut the white clothes for kafan in the hall, to arrange the kafan clothes in the hall, to kafan ‘Abid in the hall and put jasmine smell perfume on ‘Abid….. all by ourselves alone at our home. Also the chance given by Allah for Papa himself to bring jenazah ‘Abid on a 2++ hour journey alone to Yamanashi-ken, for Papa to dig ‘Abid’s grave alone himself, for Papa to lead the jenazah prayer for ‘Abid, for Papa to carry and bury ‘Abid in ‘Abid’s grave and for Papa to lead do’as recital for ‘Abid at ‘Abid’s grave. We still can’t believe it that we actually really did experience those things. We will never forget such a very magnificent experience Allah and ‘Abid had presented us with, Subhanallah! Alhamdulillah, with the help from Allah we manage to perform our responsibilities during our last moments with ‘Abid smoothly. Even though there might be flaws at here and there but that were the best that we could do and we pray that Allah will accept our deeds.

Here, I would like to take the chance to express our highest appreciation and gratitude to those who have involved either directly or indirectly along the way during the process of managing jenazah ‘Abid from the beginning until the end and for all the words of sympathy and encouragements which always keep us warm in the hearts and help us gain back to ourselves…..

Thanks to the medical teams especially midwives, Tabata-san and Ichikawa-san in Iida Municipal Hospital who had gave their best to help save me safely delivered ‘Abid and never stopped giving their concerns and encouragements to me,

Thanks to Fakhran, Fakhran’s friends, and Yusuf-san in Yamanashi-ken who gave their best in helping hubby to manage jenazah prayer and burial for ‘Abid form the beginning until the end,

Thanks to Kak Azra and husband in Asakusa for assisting us with all the information of the right way in managing a jenazah,

Thanks to Murni, Kak Sofea and Kak N for all the information given which makes easy for us to find way on managing jenazah ‘Abid,

Thanks to dear friends, blogger friends, silent readers and all others for all the wishes of sympathy and encouragements conveyed.

Thank you so much deep from the bottom of our hearts to all of you very wonderful people presented by Allah during our hardest time of lives. Please accept our apology too for all the hassles that we have caused to some of you. Although to some of you we never met yet but we are so touched by the concerns conveyed. All your efforts given might be small to you but you never knew how much those efforts given were really meaningful and brought huge relieve to us, Alhamdulillah. It is more than words can say of how much we really appreciate the kindness of you guys….. I am speechless I must say. Only Allah can repay back all your kindness with the best blessings from Him. Maybe some of the said people don’t even know the existence of this blog but I pray for all the best wishes and may Allah blesses all of you with more blessings and guides in life, InsyaAllah. Please help pray too that we both will always be strong, patient, and can gain fast ‘recovery’ so that we can get back on our knees as soon as possible, InsyaAllah.

‘Abid Sayang….. you will always be missed by Mama and Papa forever, Al-Fatihah.

14 Replies to “Al-Fatihah To Our Beloved Ahmad ‘Abid Qiwaidir Bin Abdul Latif”

  1. Leeds Al-Malique says: Reply


    menitis air mata..

    Al-Fatihah utk Abid.. InsyaAllah dia menanti ibubapanya di syurga.

    untuk Ina dan suami, moga tabah melalui ujianNya..

  2. Hi,
    found the link from my fren, nannoor. Takziah atas pemergian arwah ‘Abid.It affects me since I read nannoor’s entry yesterday.Keep thinking about it till this second.I almost lost my baby due to fetal distress. But Allah saved her by giving me that ‘motherly instinct’ to go to hospital. Except that she suffered from meconium aspiration. Kalaulah sy terlambat by few more hours..nauzubillah.

    Semoga tabah…”dan Allah tidak akan menguji hambaNya lebih dari kemampuannya..”


  3. Suhaila Tahir says: Reply

    Dear Ina,

    Marlia Fukuyama told me abt yr stories.I’m so sorry for yr sudden lost.
    Be strong!!!

    p/s:Slmt berkenalan

  4. assalamualaikum

    Persatuan Msia di Higashi Hiroshima telah mengadakan bacaan Yassen mlm ini di Pusat Islam sebagai sedekah dari kami yg jauh ni. Semoga usaha kami yg sedikit ini mendapat keberkatan dari Allah s.w.t.


    Al fatihah


  5. salam takziah buat ina dan suami….

    sblm ni, sy hanyalah silent reader blog ina… namun, hari ni hati terusik slps tahu berita tntg kehilangan baby yg dikandung…. sbbnya sy pun penah kehilangan anak pertama yg ditunggu2 2 thn yg lepas. Allah meminjamkannya 5 hari shj buat sy dan suami.. itu pun di ICU… sama spt awk, sy sendri tak penah mendakapnya sepanjang hayatnya…

    bersabarlah, spt yg awk katakan,… tentu ada hikmah disbalik apa yg berlaku….Allah lebih mengetahui akan segalanya….

    jaga lah kesihatan diri, krn itu yg lebih penting… ‘Abid sudah pasti aman di sana bersama penciptanya….

    apapun, sy percaya ina seorang yg tabah melalui apa yg ina coretkan kat sini…..

  6. Salam,

    I have been your silent reader all this while.We have the same due date so I was comparing my pregnancy with yours.

    Anyway,salam takziah from me and family to u and husband.

    Jaga kesihatan u baik2..kuatkan semangat and look at the bright side, anak sudah pasti menunggu Mama & Papa di syurga…you are the chosen one.


  7. Mama Shazzy says: Reply


    Dear Ina,

    I too have been a silent reader of your blog.. i waited for every updates on your pregnancy as i enjoy reading on how you sail through ur pregnancy di tanah asing..

    was wondering how your delivery went after your last entry on May 8th..

    Upon reading the title of this post & its content, I must admit that it makes me go all teary..salam takziah from me and family..

    semoga roh ‘Abid dicucuri rahmat..

    be strong k (by reading ur post,i know you are..:) ), & always remember that your son is always praying for you up there 🙂

  8. Salam Ina & Husband,
    Akak silent reader blog Ina ni. Really touched when reading this entry. Takziah akak ucapkan. Akak yakin ‘Abid sedang bahagia “disana” di sisi Allah. Kalau akak ditempat Ina, akak tak tau boleh hadapi dgn tabah atau tak dugaan sebesar ini. Kagum dgn ketabahan Ina dan suami. Yang pastinya, Ina dan suami beruntung berbanding org lain krn mempunyai peluang yg besar utk ke Jannah, insyaAllah.
    Al Fatihah utk ‘Abid.

  9. mommy izzdanish says: Reply

    ina…dont know what to say now..berderai airmata everytime singgah cni…awituh kt chat ngan sgt2 sedih…but at the other sgt kagum!!!u r strong dear!!smoga ina terus tabah++bersabar..insyaALLAH..DIA telah janjikan berita gembira utk orang2 yang bersabar….

  10. ina,

    may Allah bless ‘Abid
    and may you and Latif get to be with him again one day, insya Allah…

    if there’s anything at all that u need from me or hubby, we’re just a phone call away…

    our doa is with u and latif


  11. ina, this is my first time coming to your blog. blog hopping from a.z’s blog. semoga Allah kurniakan kesabaran, dan ganjari dgn pahala yg berlipat ganda.

    Just a thot. akak baru je bersalin, during my pregnancy i found out that i had Group B Strep, which can cause stillbirth, if you n baby falls into highly risk category, which is when baby was born prem., water broke for more than 16++ hours. Dan kalau dlm category ni mum’s should be given antibiotic via IV at once. Please do check with your doc. just precaution for your next pregnancy insya-Allah. I was asked to test for GBS sbb my first born was born prematurely (water broke early, and no contraction), and they wanted to know what caused it. Take care… and there are a lot other infections pada mummy’s which can cause stillbirth due to contact with the birth canal masa bersalin.

  12. Leeds al-malique,
    Thanks Leeds. I so hope that I’m gonna meet him again someday.

    Mungkin dah memang takdir saya the baby Allah pinjamkan sekejap je. If Allah takdirkan otherwise, mungkin saya pun sama macam awak jugak kot. Susah macam mana pun surely the baby akan survive. Hopefully someday I can hold a cute smiling baby looking at me like yours 🙂 Thanks a lot for your wishes ya.

    Suhaila tahir,
    Thanks for your wish ye Kak. Salam perkenalan juga 🙂

    Waalaikumussalam. I really don’t know what to say. I’m just so touched. Thank you so much. Semoga Allah akan mengurniakan lebih rahmat kepada anda semua, InsyaAllah.

    Thanks a lot for sharing your experience here with me and also for your wishes. It makes me feels that I’m not the only one who is facing such lost. Saya rasa dapat semangat baru. I can’t even see how my life is going to be in near time to come. Apatah lagi 2 tahun macam awak. I hope that I can be as strong as you to move on with my life. How did you cope with your lost anyway? I just miss my baby in every second of my life. Btw please leave your link if you have blog too or anything okay.

    Thanks for your wish and kind words. By this time I’m sure you have given birth to a cute healthy baby. Saya tumpang gembira untuk awak. I wish your baby gonna be anak yang soleh/ solehah. I hope someday Allah bagi peluang pada saya untuk merasa membesarkan anak juga, InsyaAllah.

    Mama shazzy,
    Dear Mama Shazzy, just so you know I am also a silent reader of your blog all these while. I hope it is not too late to wish congratulations to you on your newborn, Hafiz. He is indeed so adorable. Semoga Hafiz jadi anak yang soleh. I’m sorry I can’t stalk your interesting blog as usual dalam masa terdekat ni. I hope you understand why. Take care ya Mama Shazzy and give my hugs to Hafiz. Thanks for your wishes.

    Thanks ye kak for your wish. I just don’t know what to say. We were really blur tapi Alhamdulillah Allah permudahkan jalan untuk selesaikan semua tu. It is not easy at all. Tapi saya harap kami sentiasa tabah as for the sake to keep moving on. Doakan kami kuat ye.

    Mommy izzdanish,
    Syima… thanks a lot for always being by my side though only virtually. I’m just so touched. Thanks a lot for helping me to get back on my knees. Takde rezeki nak bawak ‘Abid jumpa main2 dengan Izz. Semoga Izz jadi anak yang soleh, InsyaAllah. Doakan kiter sentiasa kuat ye Syima.

    Congratulations ye kak on ur newborn. Semoga anak akak jadi anak yang soleh/ solehah, InsyaAllah. Regarding the GBS kiter ada study juga dulu. In my case, I already reached full term and we had no problem at all throughout the pregnancy. Suddenly I realized I couldn’t feel the baby’s movement and went to check. Then we got to know the baby already passed away in the womb so I was straightly been induced to get the baby out. So at that time mmg antibiotic treatment for the GBS during labor pun was already not needed. The doctor examined the baby’s placenta tp it showed no prob at all and xde tanda kena infection. Doctor mintak nak buat post-mortem on the baby tapi kitorg tak kasik. Tak sanggup and lagipun kitorg uruskan sendiri the baby A-Z. So, it could be more complicated la. Jadi… memang xdapat nak tau the exact cause why the baby died. Takpela, memang Allah dah nak ambik kot… even though rasa macam dah jaga diri and kandungan sebaik mungkin. Thanks ye kak for the wish and the reminder. I will be more alert and careful during next pregnancy, InsyaAllah.

  13. Hi Ina, honestly this is the first time I visit to your blog which i refer from my fren’s blog. Your first post has given me a deep personal touch.

    I have no much say to soothe you. Even I can feel the pain (im sure to you is greater), What I can say, sekurang-kurangnya you have ur precious which is patiently waiting for u in heaven.


  14. A.z haida,
    Kak Azra I’m sorry that I’ve misslooked your comment. Thanks kak for the wishes and again thank you so much for all the helps. Although it was only on the phone but if only I could show you how relieved we were during that critical time. May Allah bless you and your family always.

    Ibu emir,
    Thanks Ibu Emir for your sympathy and also for dropping by. Yes it is indeed so hard… but I’m trying hard too to move on. InsyaAllah, I hope it is going to come true someday that we are gonna meet him again in the hereafter. Amin 🙂

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