When She Looks Like A Teddy Bear

Apparently… the title above has got nothing to do with what I’m going to babble about today. Truly, I can’t think of a good title to write so that one still can make do of it because up until this moment since last night I have just realized how much ‘gorgeous my looks have transformed to since the past 9 months hihi 😛 You got what I mean right? It is just that I hate looking at myself when I wake up from sleep and whenever I’m wearing my in-house attires especially sweater. I look like a pear or balloonfish rather than a teddy bear. I tend to look simply fugly. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I would think of what does hubby has in mind every time he sees me like this? I feel bad of myself but I just ignore it most of the time. Malas lah nak kisah sangat… tak larat lah nak melawa2 bagai. Anyway the good thing is I look kinda cute in a sememeh way, adorable, huggable and sangat sedap, I think ;P Well, hubby said that himself many times and I myself thinks the same too. Orang dah cakap macam tu… kiter iyer kan aje lah. I am ‘cute’ like a teddy bear hohoho ;P But tatau la if dia tipu only or perli2 je kan. Even if he were just lying pun I don’t mind lah since at least he knew that I be like this because of him jugak kan. Berani ler dia cakap tah pape grrrrr hihi ;P

Actually I’m still not in the mood to blog today. I simply lost passion to write in my own blog regarding other things… except anything related to Lil’ Munchkin in his blog. So that’s why this blog is kinda neglected. I have so many things to tell but every time when I started to write… I only managed to go halfway before suddenly I clicked the ‘save now’ button and logged out. There are a few drafts in the folder now and just gonna be forgotten soon. Worse, most of the time I would just stare at the blank screen or just clicked the ‘delete’ button right after I finished the first paragraph. Anyway today I’m kinda force myself to update since I might not be able to go online for a few days. Last night hubby said that we are going to move out this weekend so the internet might not be available for a moment. I hope it’s not going to be so long and the longest perhaps for as long as 1 week only. I totally can’t live without internet. Who can by the way??? :O Actually, the most important thing are firstly we are in the middle of applying visa to Japan for my mom so we need to update each other between mom and us from time to time. Selagi visa ni tak settle I don’t think I can duduk diam and tido nyenyak lah. Secondly, I don’t have hand phone… kesiannyaaa bini sapa nih???… so it is going to be a problem for me to call hubby during emergency. Nahhh… really small matters only. I’m sure I can find other ways when I really need to do those 2 things.

Yes, it is confirmed that my mom is coming; InsyaAllah. Her visa application is now on the way to the embassy in KL and we need to wait for like 7-10 days to get the confirmation. She is in Kota Kinabalu you know so she has to use travel agent instead of doing things herself. That’s very convenient actually in many aspects and it seems like the travel agent only charged very little for the service provided, cool! Or else it’s gonna be sooo leceh and she has to work too. Actually there is J*apan Embassy branch in KK buttt because my mom is originated from Peninsular so she can’t do it in KK. What do you guys think? I still pikir benda2 macam ni macam soo ridiculous lah. Menyusahkan je. After all she is Malaysian jugak kan? Owhhh sungguh tak bleh diterima oleh akal ku yang waras nih! Anyway after been contemplating 50-50 the thought of whether to let my mom comes or not, at last we decided for her to come. I just think that I’m afraid I can’t be that strong after giving birth. By that, means I won’t be able to think rationally and more sucked up into my emotions most of the times. So… that’s going to be very bad for hubby, baby and myself. Furthermore, we need things to be very manageable at that time or else many problems will arise. Some more… I really miss family and I can’t be sure whether we really will be going back for holiday early next year or not. I can’t bear to wait any more longer. Last but not least, I am dreadfully and miserably crave for some foods. So, my mom can help cure my food craving disease if she is here soon. Honestly, I miss foods more than I miss my family. Yes… it is that bad.

During last times… I dealt with the J*apan Embassy 3 times and I did everything myself from A to Z. I went there accompanied by either friend or sister-in-law. Although everything managed to be settled in only 3 days but those particular weeks before going to embassy until the moment I managed to get hold of my passport stamped with valid visa, were the most excruciating moments in my life. Bak kata tido tak lena… mandi tak basah okeh. This is also the reason why I dare not to live far away from each other with hubby anymore. Well… tak la susah mana pun but I really hate doing transaction, dealing with documents, dealing with officers at the counters and that sort kinda things. So stressful! Pernah sekali my visa wasn’t approved without any reason. I supposed to get 3 months visa but I only got 15 days padahal my ticket was meant for 1 month stay. When I asked for the reason the officer said something like this, “Susah nak paham. Lain orang lain pikir dalam kepala lain perangai. Ini boss nombor 1 (duta). Takpe nanti I mintak dekat boss nombor 2 (duta lain). Tomorrow you come again”. Then only I got my visa valid for 3 month, phew! Kentut ayam betul! Macam la kiter hinginnn sangat nak stay lelama kat N*hon yang buhsan nih 😛 😛 😛 Bleh blah! That’s why I also don’t like going to bank, post office, do payment at the cashier counter and so on. But these are exceptable la jugak kan. Tak suka pun I still do those things occasionally. Kalau tak susah la nak hidup. All in all I just hope semua urusan my mom akan dipermudahkan jalannya, InsyaAllah, Amin!

Hmmm what else to talk about? I’m feeling sleepy at the moment even though it is now already 5.15 p.m. I just can’t sleep at night and last night I only dozed off after Subuh. Lately I am soo not energetic in doing everything. Thus making my everyday life seems more dull, duh~~~ I don’t experiment recipes especially baking cakes because I have to avoid myself from eating sweet stuffs. I don’t really have appetite to eat too especially towards nasi putih berlauk. Because I can’t take it to eat my own cookings anymore. I really want to eat some other things but it is either I don’t know how to make it or even if I do have the recipe… again back to what I said earlier. If only hubby pandaiii masak kan best? I also don’t have mood to read especially books and I have been abandoning my reading materials since last week. Somehow I feel a bit guilty about that because reading is simply very beneficial right? So, I try to replace that by reading via the net but most of the time I tend to only blog hopping from one blog to another keh keh keh! But hey I gained plenty useful information too along the way. So okay lah tu kan? Usually at the end of the days, I would be feeling like don’t know what else for me to read or browse. Everything seems not interesting to me. I have read numerously about pregnancy, baby, breastfeeding and so on for already 9 months and now I just feel like I can’t force any more input in me or else it is like I’m going to puke! I bet this is also because of this pregnancy thing lah… maybe I’m just tired of everything already… with the waiting… with the preparation… with the on-going fatigue… and so on. Now I’m whining… I’m sure there will be times when I’m going to really wish that the baby can be put back into the tummy once he is born hahaha! ;D Prior to that… let’s just enjoy lazying myself within this 1 month left ahhh~~~! ;D

Owh hubby just got back just now and he is already out again to have a look at the house we are going to move in. Betul lah tu jadi kot pindah weekend ni. Err… this reminds me to take pictures and videos of our current house. I’m gonna miss this house lah since this is the first house we are officially starting our lives as husband and wife. Barang2 apa pun tak kemas lagi. Takpe… nak pindahnya sekangkang kera aje. The trainees will be helping too. Berani lah tak tolong… nanti apa2 mintak tolong hubby jugak kan hoho 😛 So this weekend I’m going to toss all the small2 things into plastic bags, paper bags, boxes or baskets then starts arranging them back in the new house later. Sempoi je kan? Kotak hapa ke mende pun xde lagi nak pack barang. It’s okay lah since our stuffs tak banyak pun. But then I have to monitor on how, which stuffs for them to carry and where to put lah if not pening kepala jugak nanti nak susun balik kalau diorg mixed-up everything. Obviously at the end of the day I am the one who is going to arrange everything back to order lah kan sebab I am the manager of the house. So yang kecik2 tu sure lah haku kemas sendiri… kalau tak… rimas nanti sakit mata tengok kalau tak menepati citarasa! By the way honestly I’m really looking forward sebenarnya with this activity berpindah-randah ni. Reason being? Because I want to exercise and do more movements… even though I know mengemas rumah di saat sarat bukanlah safe and efficient exercise pun sebenarnya hohoho 😛 But don’t worry… I will always remember my limit and try to be safe all the time. I hope by doing extra movements ni likeberjalan2 di dalam rumah aje… insyaAllah senang nak bersalin, Amin 😀

Actually… I want to to tell something here. Usually during the times when my blog seems to be silent is most of the times probably because of hubby and I were having fights 😛 The latest, semalam baru je baik itu pun I gave in even though sepatutnya diaaa yang kena made move dulu. Even though actually I don’t think dia tau pun what at the first place I was very mad about and he said I started it some more??? He made me mad so of course la dia yang start kan???… Ada ke orang yang sesaja suka nak merajuk? By the way memang dia suka cakap I like to sesaja merajuk pun… ada ke? 😛 Anyway, “Ayang if you are reading this… I just keep and forget my hurt feelings in order just to be civil with you tau tak? Sebab I don’t want to be burden with moreee sins because of mengabaikan suami and syurga di bawah tapak kaki suami some more kan… and I’m going to give birth soon so I don’t want lah kena ‘tulah’ suami ke kan. But I’m sure it’s gonna happen again if you don’t want to tolerate or cooperate 😛 😛 :P”. Biasalah tu kan husband and wife gaduh? Tapi memang tak best okeh… nyampah 😛 Usually when we got into fights of course I would be the most miserable wife on earth and hubby might be the most person I hate in the entire universe! So if I tend to blog at that times, surely the entries were going to be very sensational lah kan. But of course I don’t want to unintentionally memancing more readers to read my blog by publishing the so heart-wrenching (I was sad, remember?) entries. Siapa lah yang tak suka gossip and cerita2 macam ni kan? Elehhh ngaku je la.

Even though sometimes I do really feel like want to pour everything in my blog macam orang lain jugak tapi… I just can’t lah. I always feel not right to do that. But maybe hubby also can read and actually know what do I have in my mind and heart kan? Maybe he also can reply by giving comment in order to stand for himself ke kan? That sounds interesting though. Unfortunately… I so know hubby isn’t that kind of person especially when it comes to writing2 stuffs relaying heart-to-heart matter. As I always say to him… he is really the hati batu kind of person or… kepala komputer (sebab komputer mana bleh thinking secara abstract kan)… bla bla bla and it happens that he is a person who is more towards actions… caressing… pampering… hugging bla bla bla itu semua pass lah. But that are not enough la… you have to speak you know. Among the example of simple questions he always finds very heard to answer is when I ask, “What makes you want to merry me?” and usually his head starts to ache already and he simply answer, “Because you are cute” duh~~~ Bila tanya why you like me… what makes me special than other person or even soklan2 yang sewaktu dengannya… pun seboleh2nya dia akan jawab jawapan yang sama. Actually I’m expecting la answers like… “Because you complete me bla bla bla… accept me the way I am bla bla bla… understanding bla bla bla…” ke apa ke kan? Memanglah tak romantik pakcik ni haih! “Ehh Ayang, orang dah cakap banyak kali macam ni depan Abang kan? So takpelah kalau cakap dalam blog jugak kan?” Hihihih ;D

Dah tatau nak mengarut apa lagi. Perut pun dah sakit. Si kecik dalam ni macam dah tak sabar2 nak kuar tolak2 sana-sini. Lately slalu la sakit2. Memang cuak okay. Also not to forget, actually we went for sakura hanami on last 2 weeks at Takato. Memang best sangat. Tapi tu lah malas nak update blog. Somehow I have updated the story and uploaded the pictures in my Fotopages. I have joined Fotopages looong ago tapi baru sekarang nak maintain. So, welcome to my Fotopages – My Little Munchkin & I. Ermmmmm by the way, I might delete this link later because I’m not so keen with the idea revealing ourselves to the public. So if you happen to know my Fotopages nanti… fine lah tak kisah. But I don’t feel comfortable for people who reads my blog to actually ‘know’ who I am. So nasib lah ye sapa sempat amik link ni n sapa yang tak sempat hohoho ;P

So as usual, here I’m going to end with pictures of foods I prepared recently.

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