First and foremost, I would like to ask how do you guys see my page appeared once you opened it? There is should be a wedding couple under the tree picture on the header. Can you see the picture fully or is it hidden behind the main entry box? Can you see the bride is wearing yellow shoes or you just can see the heads of the couple hanging on top of the entry? Some friends said they could only see until the the couples’ heads and the rest was hidden behind the main entry box. I had been told that this happened might be because of the slow bandwidth or different pc setting or firewall. Somehow I just feel bothered a bit, but I hope majority can see it the same as how I see it now.

Now without further ado, I would like to present you one of my ‘luahan hati’ or the ‘expression of my heart’ entries from my old blog. The story starts like this. I was on my 30 days travel vacation in Japan at that time which started (taking my passport to refer) from June 8th, 2005 until July 7th, 2005. Even though I got my temporary visitor visa for 90 days but since the new semester will be starting on the middle of July, so that’s why I have to cut my visiting period short. I touched down at Kansai Airport, Osaka in the morning after 6 hours flight’s journey. The feelings of expectation and joy overwhelming in me along the moments of meeting my hubby after quite a period of time was indescribable. Our eyes met as soon as I made my way out of the immigration inspection.

I stayed with him in his Bel Palazzo student apartment at Kasayama, in Shiga-ken. Shiga-ken is near to Osaka and Kyoto; and quite far from the place we are living now. Yes we were still students at that time and we got married while we were both still in final years. He did has his own money to get married okay, so never easily said everything was sponsored by PaMa. He worked hard to save money in order to marry me. When I came to visit him, we were still the newly-wed who got married only for 3 months and 26 days to be exact. To cut the story short, there are actually stories behind of this story and how difficult for me to make my way towards him and how desperate he was wanting me to come over to his place. LDR was really challenging indeed. But it was still worth it. I finally made my way and that was actually when and where we started our first life as husband and wife. That one month was so meaningful and blessed!

So, here is something that I wrote exactly on 2 years ago, June 22nd, 2005 and tears were running down my cheeks at that time while typing it. Honestly, I feel ashame to put this entry in here and kinda feel funny too hohoho! Ouh how could I write something like this before? But still I don’t regret it, in fact I miss those feelings in the past and really cherished the memories. Just to think back about it, I really wished I don’t have to repeat this LDR again someday. It was so special, but it was so painful too. Warning: Just concentrate while reading and don’t laugh! ;P ;P ;P (I haven’t changed anything and it is how it was in the old blog so excuse any falseness in the sentences).

Half of a month..the miserable is coming
June 22nd, 2005

It has been about 15 days and 14 nights I have been here with my dear hubby. There were so much things we have done and enjoyed together. Everything goes on very smoothly and seems to be very sweet and beautiful..thus making me feel my life is almost complete..I’m so happy that I can see my dear hunnie everyday..having our good times laughing and quarreling together..Yes..I feel almost satisfied..even though I know the happiness is just for a while. I’m gonna miss these times of us so much. It is already half of one month and I have 15 days more left before I have to say sayonara to my hunnie. Though the number seems large since it is bigger than 5 but honestly to say I’m starting to feel sad. Every night..when the sky is dark and silence overwhelmed the environment..I used to feel very very lonely though I still have him right beside of me..Scare of losing his touch..scare of losing his most charming smile..scare of losing someone to be dependent on..scare of losing the guardian angel who can keep an eye on me while I’m sleeping..scare of losing the sight of him every time I wake up in the morning..scare of losing the companion who can be the most faithful and patient listener during my bad days..scare of losing the most lovely comforting voice and touch that will turn my sore to serene..The feelings are so unbearable and I know it will be so much harder once I get back in Malaysia soon..I am so scare of missing him again.. I have once felt the feeling and I know I’m not that strong enough yet to welcome the feeling once again.. Dear The Almighty..I thank You for bringing me here and giving me chance to meet my loved one.. but I hope You would help to cast the sadness away from me.. because I knew.. I am weak and there is nothing much that I can do except to pray and ask from You. To my dear hunnie..I know you can keep what you are feeling inside your heart very well. I will remember all that you have said to me and put it right at the center of my mind. I will be a very good girl for you. Though everything seems to be back to normal again but I believe..our love will get stronger and stronger day by day. Until the moment when we will meet again..and until forever.. My love for you will always grow.. itoshii danante ii naretenai kedo, ima nara ieru wo kimi no tame ni..

When She Replays Her Sweet Memory

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